What Child Do You Speak Of?

Today was C-Man's 2nd day of school, and also the 2nd day that I was positive that his teacher was trying to send me home with the wrong child.

"C-Man is so good, he is one of my best listeners in class."
"Excuse me?  Are you sure you are returning the right child to me?  I'm pretty sure there is no way we can be talking about the same C-Man, maybe you have more than one in your class and you are mistaken mine for this other mild manner and good C-Man who listens."

So, I bring home this alien C-Man.  "Hmmm, he listens.  Not only does he listen, but he's a good listener."  These are the thoughts that go through my mind on my drive home.  This is news to me, and I am completely baffled.  I make it a point to figure out who this new "listening" C-Man belongs to so that his mom doesn't miss him.  But, maybe not, it would be nice to have a child who listens to me.

Then we get home.  All of a sudden C-Man is running around the house, pulling out all his toys, screaming at me to get him this, get him that, I don't want to say please, just do it, bouncing off the walls.

Where is this quiet and listening C-Man that his teacher spoke of?  I want that C-Man.  How do I get this listening C-Man?  Is she just giving me the right C-Man and giving me the wrong message on how the day went?

After careful consideration I decide to talk to the experts.  Off to discuss this particular dilemma with my other mom friends.  

Yep, it's just as I suspected.  School apparently has this weird mind altering program that they do to your children while you are at home so that they listen.  Unfortunately, when you come to pick them up, they turn it off, and you are given the monster you dropped off.

This doesn't seem fair.  How is it that they get to have the good C-Man who listens?  

Who else drops off their non-listening child only to come pick them up to learn that the powers that be ensure they are only good at school?  Tell me your story.

Mmmmm, Clean Baby

Now I know I'm not the only one, but my kids are still young enough that I like them to keep their baby smell.  Mmmmm, there's nothing better than to cuddle with your kids after a bath and soak in their scent.

C-Man and Mar-Mar both have eczema.  The problem is, neither one of them will sit still long enough for me to rub lotion on them.  Too busy with the evil hostile takeover my house I suspect.

To keep the baby smell, while keeping the kids skin smooth and eczema breakout free, I found a wonderful product.  Canus Lil' Goat's Milk Shampoo & Body Wash.  I literally LOVE this stuff!!!

The reviews say that the smell is strong, and it is at first.  But, it lasts forever.  So, if your kids have eczema, like mine do, and you avoid daily baths so that you don't dry out their skin, this stuff is amazing.




Some reviews say that the Lil Goat's Milk smells like lemons, but I think it has a hint of a light lavender to it.  And after my kids have a bath with it, I just want to curl up with them all night long and drink in their scent.

Another reason I love Lil Goat's Milk Shampoo & Body Wash, it lasts forever.  Ok, so maybe not forever, but it lasts quite awhile in my house.  Pac-Man thinks we save money by not buying the overpriced bubble bath, so instead, we buy this Lil Goat's Milk.  Sure, it seems like a lot, but Pac-Man uses it as a bubble bath too.

Don't get me wrong, I like Johnson & Johnson.  I grew up with the stuff.  But, the additives in it create an eczema breakout with C-Man and Mar-Mar.  Couple that with the fact that when Pac-Man adds the additional job of bubble bath to the body wash and shampoo of the Johnson & Johnson, I'm lucky to get a months use out of it.  So, I stay away from it.

I buy a bottle of Lil Goat's Milk Shampoo & Body Wash and it has lasted me 3 months.  It's thick, so when you're using it, a little goes a long way.  And, if Pac-Man didn't double it as a bubble bath for the kids, I imagine we could get at least another 2 months out of it.  

The scent and the longevity of Lil Goat's Milk make it worth the price.  This momster gives it 2 thumbs up.

The fact that it is the only tearless shampoo that we've used that the kids actually tout as being tear free means Lil Goat's Milk also gets an A+ from C-Man and Mar-Mar.  And, in the grand scheme of things, if they like it, Momster likes it (within reason).

The Proverbial Back-to-School Mom

Mom's who are sending their children to school for the first time, remember when you were told, "it will be harder on you than it is on them."?  Of course, you don't believe it, why should you.  That's your baby, and he or she only wants you.  School has nothing on you.

Well, I'm here to tell you, it's true!!!  Aaaahhhh!!!  It's so true that I am literally in tears right now.  Of course, this doesn't stop future mom's from going through the same argument when they become the proverbial back-to-school mom.  No matter how many times you hear it, you will never believe it until it happens to you, and it won't stop the sting of heartbreak as you stifle the blubbering mess that you want to be as you rush out of your child's classroom before anyone notices you.

Of course, let me tell you what's going through everyone's mind when they see you.  Cause, just to let you know, that sparkle in your eye, yep, everyone knows that those are your tears that are about to overflow.  That is their first sign, "new to school mom."  You may as well have walked into school with it tattooed on your forehead.  It's like a beacon flashing in the dead of night.

So, here you are, sitting in the classroom with your oldest child, first time at school, and it comes.  They start to play and you're hovering over them like they're going to break down any moment and you will be forced to take them home with you.  Nice and safe.  Aaahhh, yes, you can feel it coming, any second now.  "Mom, go away, I'm trying to play."

"But, but, but..." you're at a loss.  What happened to your innocent baby.  You could've sworn that you just brought him home yesterday.  You can still smell that baby smell, remember the nights you stayed up until the break of dawn wishing for them to get older so they would sleep through the night.  Why, why did you have to wish for an older child?  All you want now is to make your baby tiny again, and rush out of the classroom without breaking down completely.  

Then the whispers, "Look, new mom over there.  First time at school.  How much you want to bet she's going to lose it before she gets out of here?  Yep, should've listened to the warnings.  Clearly she was under the impression that she was more important than school."

So, today, yes, I am the proverbial back-to-school mom.  The first timer.  I must say though, I am proud of myself.  When dropping off C-Man for his first day of Pre-K I was able to hold off the water works until after I got to the car and Mar-Mar and I were heading home.

Now, I sit here, watching both my phone and clock like a hawk.  Is it time to leave yet to go pick up C-Man?  Maybe they'll call me because he suddenly realizes he needs me with him constantly for all eternity.  I can't leave my house before it's time to leave cause I'm certain that C-Man will decide he can't be without me, and I will need to rush to his rescue when I get the call.

After all, C-Man looks like he will hate school and will need me to rescue him, doesn't he?!?!?!?

Who is the proverbial first time back-to-school mom this year?  What are your tricks to hold back those tears?

Momster's Nightmare

Every mom has nightmares, and Momster here, I'm no different.  My kids find new and inventive ways to give me nightmares.  My goal with this blog is to share those nightmares sometimes.  Not for the shear embarrassment of my family, but just so someone can laugh and say, "Finally, someone admits that it's not all roses and butterflies once you become a mom." 

Well folks, today is one of those days when my blissful existence in motherhood was shaken to its core.

Today was a simple day.  It's the day before C-Man heads off into the life of school and friends.  We didn't have much planned, but our day was still pretty busy.  Do one last summer play date with another family before school starts, come back home to straighten up (well, at least my living room, my dishes are still in my sink.  They are my nemesis), make lunch, and after lunch Mar-Mar has in-home speech therapy.

So here I am, Momster, easy going, blissfully happy in my mom world.  We had a great play date, we're home now and I'm randomly straightening up the toys in my living room as I make lunch.  

My final entrance into the living room leaves me...stunned.  Mar-Mar runs up to me gleefully squealing covered in...I don't know.  "Mar-Mar, what's all over you?"  Then the smell!!!

Mar-Mar was dressed in a dress this morning, and she likes to take her diaper off from time to time.  I thought I was safe today since she hadn't even made the move yet.  Hahaha, Mar-Mar was quick to remind me why she gets diaper covers or pants on over her diapers.

Mar-Mar had taken her diaper off.  It's just a little wet, no big deal.  But, this wet diaper is tossed to the side, while Mar-Mar is covered in...dun-dun-dun...poop!!!

My mom panic goes off in overdrive.  Where is the poop?  Why are you covered in it?  What am I going to do?

Mar-Mar is blissfully unaware of the reasoning behind my panic.  She just thinks it's funny to send me into a full fledged panic.  Mar-Mar is covered in poop.  It is smeared down the front of her dress, on her legs, up her arms, in her hair, all over her face.  I'm still searching for the origin of this poopscapade.

To the hidden corner of the couch I go.  This is where we have a short little side table there.  Aha, I have found the origin.  Poop is smeared all over this side table.  We also have a few blankets in a chest that sit next to the side table.  Poop is all over my blankets, on my floor.

I am now in mom overdrive.  Off comes the dress, and we are booking it to the back of the house and getting in the tub.  Now, both my kids are some rare form of alien, as they actually love the bath.  They beg me several times a day every single day to take a bath.  So, the fact that Mar-Mar is being tossed into the tub starts an onslaught of temper tantrums from C-Man.  "Why does Mar-Mar get to take a bath?  I want to take a bath?  It's not fair."

I am still in my panic state.  The water gets turned on, and I don't even bother filling the tub.  I am feverishly scrubbing Mar-Mar with her soap and washing her hair, rinse her off, smell her to make sure that she smells like my favorite baby wash....aaaahhhhh, lovely.  

Towel dry, diaper, and clothe her again.  Now, the mess!!!  What to do with the kids so they don't make it a bigger mess and ensure a second bath?!?!?

Nice, Pac-Man has created two playrooms for the little monsters, so in they go.  Shut the door since they can't open it and off to clean I go.  

The great part of this nightmare is that Mar-Mar's speech therapy has not even started yet.  Which means I am frantically trying to clean up a poopscapade mess before her therapist gets here for her weekly therapy.  

Twenty minutes later, success.  But, now, my house smells like a dirty diaper.  Gah!!!!

Discuss my dramatic middle of the day excursions with some of my mom friends, and was given the suggestion...put some vanilla and cinnamon on the stove. 

Aaaaaahhhhhh!!!!  Nice smelling house once again...all before the inevitable intrusion of my house.

What are your mom nightmares?  I want to hear the frightening things your little monsters have put you through?  How did you cope?

Back to School Shopping Extravaganza

Now, I know that back-to-school can be bittersweet for other mom's out there for the simple fact that they are done with the "Mom, I'm bored" while at the same time want to keep their kids at home.  Another year means our kids are growing up.  But, what about the inevitable dip in the pocketbook?

This is C-Man's first year going to school.  I'm nervous, excited, and all the normal first time mommy stuff when it comes to sending my kids to school.  And while Pac-Man and I have made the personal decision to send C-Man to a private school in our area, I'm told it doesn't matter...private school or public school, the cost of going back to school is astronomical.  

While the fees of private schools can be high as it is, those costs are expected.  I know a full year ahead of time what I need to budget for, and how I'm going to make those payments.  But, school supplies for the year, WOW!!!

Forget the fact that you're buying everything for your child from notebooks to markers, crayons to pencils, backpacks to lunchboxes, and so much more.  Luckily I waited until this past weekend when Wal-Mart was having a great sale on crayons and markers (¢.25 for markers and ¢.50 for crayons).  Unfortunately for the unassuming back-to-school shopper, this GREAT deal on crayons and markers, and sometimes some of the other supplies, are on items that you can't get.  The crayons and markers were just your average joe crayons and markers...you can color on everything and they stick.  Unfortunately for me, the crayons and markers that were required on my back-to-school shopping list were all washable.  Simple enough until you realize that they don't carry the washable versions in the sale product, insert doom music at the realization that you are about to pay the $2 for every single box off crayons and markers that you need. 

Granted, the $2 per box doesn't seem like a lot when you're looking at them, you sit there inspecting them, "Oh well, I guess I'm buying the Crayola $2 box, and $2 is super cheap still anyways."  That is until you look at your supply list that your child's teacher gave to you and you must buy 3 boxes of those $2 crayons and 3 boxes of those $2 markers.  Now we're at $12 for just markers and crayons and we haven't even made a dent in the rest of the stuff.

Now, insert the fact that during the summer your kid either outgrew his or her clothes, or they are no longer suitable to wear in public since they wore them down to the thread all summer.  Now you must purchase a new wardrobe on top of the dreaded school supply list.

This new school wardrobe I thought was going to be the end of me.  Clothes are expensive enough for me.  They're more expensive for my kids, which will always baffle me since they use less fabric to comprise their clothes.  I've already spent a good $100 on the school supply list, and now I'm about to wander into the doomed world of school clothes.

This is the start of my panic attack.  Not only am I admitting that my first baby is ready to go off to school, but now I am putting this massive dent in my pocketbook, and there seems to be no end to the destruction that it will have each school year for the next foreseeable 14 years for the C-Man, and it will only be a matter of time before Mar-Mar enters the school zone.  Aaaahhhh!!!  

Insert my saving grace, the clearance section!!  You know, that little section of out of season clothes, or the clothes the company no longer carries, the designs have been replaced, or whatever.  Some clearance sections may as well be paying full price.  A clearance sale to me is not paying $20 for a $30 shirt.  But, when you step into places like Old Navy (sorry, this is the only place I ventured into for my back-to-school wardrobe shopping this year lest I have yet another back-to-school panic attack), you are greeted with not only cute options in the clearance section, but a reassurance that your pocketbook won't be hurt too much.

Going to the clearance section was much like going to a consignment store, only the clothes were guaranteed to be brand new.  I love consignment shops, you get nice clothes, sometimes new clothes with tags still on, for great prices.  The clearance rack at Old Navy is like those consignment store prices.  We got shorts for $2.50, shirts for $3.49, and a pair of pants for $10 (ok, the pants weren't in the clearance section, they were just on sale).  Insert happy dance that I was able to walk out of Old Navy's clearance section with a full new wardrobe for the C-Man with less than $50.

What are your back-to-school horror stories?  What drives you to the back-to-school panic attack?  What is your back-to-school saving grace advice?

Why!!!

What is the most rewarding part of parenthood?  Yeah, I was thinking it was the inevitable phase where your children make you realize, "hey, I'm not as smart as I thought I was."  This, in my house, are the days of the why!!!

For the past week I have been dealing with the curse of the "why's" with C-Man.  Everything is a "why?" or a "how?", maybe even a "where?" from time to time.  And, when the curse of the "why's" start, you might think, "hey, I got this, these why's are easy."  But then, the tough one's come.  This is what I like google for.  Seriously, what can you not find through google?!?

So, C-Man hit me up with the why, what, where, how barrage this week.  "What's a kiwi?"  See, it starts off simple, this is to trick you into thinking you can answer any question with grace and ease and impress your offspring with how smart mommy is.

And then it comes, the instant they've been waiting for, how to make mommy realize she's not the smartest person in the world!!!

"Where do kiwi's grow?", "What's a bush?", "What's a plant?", "What makes up the ground?", "Why is it called dirt?", "What are clouds made of?", "Why is the sky blue?", "What are light waves?", "What is air?", "Why is it called oxygen?", "How do you make oxygen?", "Can I make oxygen?", "Why do trees make oxygen?", "Why can't trees talk?", "Where's Opie's mom?", "How did I get in your belly when I was a baby?"

Yes, some of the questions seem small and innocent.  Most of them might even be able to be answered without the help of the internet google search.  But, most of the time, they come at you so fast you are left spinning and dazed.  Other questions you realize you understand and know the answer, but go through a battle in your head, "do I answer this question or ignore the fact that it was even asked?  If I ignore it will he realize I didn't answer it, or will I win and he'll completely forget the question was even asked altogether."

My world, it's never that simple.  C-Man's memory is better than my computer, so when I try to hide the questions that I don't want to answer, he just barrages me more with more impossible questions.

So, let's hear it.  Leave a comment with the impossible why's.  What are the who, what, why, how questions of your children?

I Speak for the Trees

Am I the only one who remembers the Lorax from the 1972 TV special?  Granted, I was not a 70's child, but I do remember the TV special being run in the 80's as well.

Back then, the Lorax was a cute little TV movie.  One where the Once-ler was merely a voice and a hand that we saw through a Suess type building.  We're taken through various scenes of the Once-ler's fight with the Lorax about the plight of trees as he, the Once-ler, builds factories and cuts down the beloved Truffula Tree to make a Thneed.

In the 2012 version of the Lorax, the theme isn't too much different.  The Once-ler, though we see him as a full person now rather than a voice, is destroying a forest community of fun-loving critters when he is plagued by the annoying presence of the Lorax.

Key differences in the story line that I saw.  This movie has been turned from the main story of the Once-ler's destruction of the forest to a boy, named Ted's, need to impress a girl with a tree...a real tree.

Ted and Audrey are two teenage kids who live in a fake community, Thneedville.  Everything is manufactured there; the air, the trees, the snow.  And, according to the opening song, everyone prefers it this way.  That is until you cue in Audrey.

After discussing with Ted how she would fall in love with any guy right on the spot for getting her a tree, a real Truffula Tree, Ted sets out to find a tree.  This is where the Once-ler comes into play.

In order to get a tree, Ted must listen to a bitter man, left alone outside the luxuries of the manufactured city of Thneedville, among the smog and destruction, tell his story of how he destroyed every living tree.

And, what's a movie nowadays without a big conflict?!?!

Mr. O'Hare makes a living off of selling manufactured fresh air to the people of Thneedville.  This community direly needs this man, as he supplies them with fresh air.  So, when he discovers that Ted is leaving the confines of Thneedville to learn more about trees, he makes it his business to stop Ted.  After all, trees make air for free.  If Ted is able to acquire this so-called tree, then Mr. O'Hare is out of business for good.

As far as the movie goes, it seems the only thing the two movies have in common is the Once-ler, the Lorax, and the message.  Other than that, the story seems to go in a different direction as to how to go about getting these trees.  And it seems more like a young love story in the beginning, until Ted realizes the importance of these trees.

Now, when it comes to movies, I'm pretty old school.  I don't usually think that you can better a movie that I liked.  And, I loved watching the Lorax TV special when it came on.

However, this Lorax was a favorite of my kids.  So much so that after the rental was up, Pac-Man and I decided to purchase the Lorax for C-Man and Mar-Mar.  They even sit still for it through the entire movie.  That right there makes this movie worth it's weight in gold.

While, as a mother, I'm not too keen on turning a movie with a serious message into a love story, the new 2012 Lorax movie is cute, fun, and seems easier for my younger children to follow.  So, it appears that it's time for this Momster to hang up her prejudices of this particular movie.