Momster's Nightmare

Every mom has nightmares, and Momster here, I'm no different.  My kids find new and inventive ways to give me nightmares.  My goal with this blog is to share those nightmares sometimes.  Not for the shear embarrassment of my family, but just so someone can laugh and say, "Finally, someone admits that it's not all roses and butterflies once you become a mom." 

Well folks, today is one of those days when my blissful existence in motherhood was shaken to its core.

Today was a simple day.  It's the day before C-Man heads off into the life of school and friends.  We didn't have much planned, but our day was still pretty busy.  Do one last summer play date with another family before school starts, come back home to straighten up (well, at least my living room, my dishes are still in my sink.  They are my nemesis), make lunch, and after lunch Mar-Mar has in-home speech therapy.

So here I am, Momster, easy going, blissfully happy in my mom world.  We had a great play date, we're home now and I'm randomly straightening up the toys in my living room as I make lunch.  

My final entrance into the living room leaves me...stunned.  Mar-Mar runs up to me gleefully squealing covered in...I don't know.  "Mar-Mar, what's all over you?"  Then the smell!!!

Mar-Mar was dressed in a dress this morning, and she likes to take her diaper off from time to time.  I thought I was safe today since she hadn't even made the move yet.  Hahaha, Mar-Mar was quick to remind me why she gets diaper covers or pants on over her diapers.

Mar-Mar had taken her diaper off.  It's just a little wet, no big deal.  But, this wet diaper is tossed to the side, while Mar-Mar is covered in...dun-dun-dun...poop!!!

My mom panic goes off in overdrive.  Where is the poop?  Why are you covered in it?  What am I going to do?

Mar-Mar is blissfully unaware of the reasoning behind my panic.  She just thinks it's funny to send me into a full fledged panic.  Mar-Mar is covered in poop.  It is smeared down the front of her dress, on her legs, up her arms, in her hair, all over her face.  I'm still searching for the origin of this poopscapade.

To the hidden corner of the couch I go.  This is where we have a short little side table there.  Aha, I have found the origin.  Poop is smeared all over this side table.  We also have a few blankets in a chest that sit next to the side table.  Poop is all over my blankets, on my floor.

I am now in mom overdrive.  Off comes the dress, and we are booking it to the back of the house and getting in the tub.  Now, both my kids are some rare form of alien, as they actually love the bath.  They beg me several times a day every single day to take a bath.  So, the fact that Mar-Mar is being tossed into the tub starts an onslaught of temper tantrums from C-Man.  "Why does Mar-Mar get to take a bath?  I want to take a bath?  It's not fair."

I am still in my panic state.  The water gets turned on, and I don't even bother filling the tub.  I am feverishly scrubbing Mar-Mar with her soap and washing her hair, rinse her off, smell her to make sure that she smells like my favorite baby wash....aaaahhhhh, lovely.  

Towel dry, diaper, and clothe her again.  Now, the mess!!!  What to do with the kids so they don't make it a bigger mess and ensure a second bath?!?!?

Nice, Pac-Man has created two playrooms for the little monsters, so in they go.  Shut the door since they can't open it and off to clean I go.  

The great part of this nightmare is that Mar-Mar's speech therapy has not even started yet.  Which means I am frantically trying to clean up a poopscapade mess before her therapist gets here for her weekly therapy.  

Twenty minutes later, success.  But, now, my house smells like a dirty diaper.  Gah!!!!

Discuss my dramatic middle of the day excursions with some of my mom friends, and was given the suggestion...put some vanilla and cinnamon on the stove. 

Aaaaaahhhhhh!!!!  Nice smelling house once again...all before the inevitable intrusion of my house.

What are your mom nightmares?  I want to hear the frightening things your little monsters have put you through?  How did you cope?