Sports Widow

Now that football is in full affect, you hear many women discuss how they have become a "sports widow."  Well, I am no different.  Although, I think for almost every season I am the unenviable sports widow.  In this house, Pac-Man dictates almost every sports team we support, lol.

Let's start the widow status in Spring.  Spring is a time of newness, green, life, and just good feelings as we shake dreary winter off our heals.  It is also when I become a widow to baseball.

Watching the Boston Red Sox play baseball, or any team for that matter, for me is the equivalent to watching paint try.  The pitcher throws a ball, the batter tries to hit it.  Clearly, this is not an easy task, which is evident by the low scores that determine who wins.  I rarely see scores that enter the double digit range.

After losing Pac-Man to baseball for much of Spring and Summer, we again lose him in the fall to football.  Now we are all red, white, and blue as we cheer on the Patriots.  

This is actually a sport I can get into.  I love watching football, I just prefer to watch college football.  There's excitement, despite the mundane task of trying to score with an egg shaped ball.  Here we have big burly men tackling each other and fighting each other, trying to keep the other team from scoring.  Much more adrenaline pumping than the mundane monotony of baseball.

After football comes two more sports.  Pac-Man is luckily not into hockey.  Although it is packed full of adrenaline like football, the fighting there is equivalent to a bar room fight.  So, since he isn't interested, I try to say that we are Red Wings fans.  He doesn't care, and neither of us watches hockey enough to really care if the Red Wings win or not.

But, we do get dominated by Pac-Man's love for the Boston Celtics.

Can you tell that we live in New England?!?!?!?

Here, C-Man, Mar-Mar, and I lose Pac-Man again to basketball.  And just when you think with the emergence of Spring that you will have roaming, romping family fun, baseball starts in full affect.

Who is a sports widow?  Are you a seasonal sports widow, only losing your spouse to one sport?  Or are you a year round sports widow?  What about a gamer widow? 

Confidence

As I scan the masses for stories from beautiful women.  Those stories that are dear to them as they came to the realization that they are beautiful.  Women who have struggled with various insecurities when it comes to their appearances.  One thing has become painfully clear to me....

Women do not think they are beautiful!!  They do not understand how they could possibly even be worthy enough of the word.

What is more beautiful than a woman?  Have you seen a man carry a child?  Sure, they help us make our beautiful children.  But, they don't carry them, go through 9 months of bodily changes, and as a reward are able to bring life into the world.

Or what about those who just plain struggle with their insecurities and overcome them.  You've been ridiculed for being too small, too big, too tall, too short.  

We have stretch marks, we have scars, we are white, black, brown.  We've been broken down, and we've build ourselves back up.  What is more beautiful than that???

So, I implore you, as a woman, share your story.  Send me a message with your beautiful woman story to kjarrait@gmail.com, and your story could be in the spotlight for the Beautiful Woman Campaign.

Pictures are welcome with your story, but not necessary.  Use your name, or don't.  We can easily replace your real name with a pseudo name if that makes you more comfortable.  

But, please, tell your story.  Beautiful women everywhere need to hear your story, if only to help them realize that they are just as beautiful as you.

Sibling Love

Between dance, school, and sick kids and Momster, this week has been crazy.  Hence the no new posts this week.

Today C-Man went to his first dance class for the season.  It started last week, but he wasn't feeling good last Saturday, so we skipped it.  He loves going to dance, so he was very excited to go today.  This year he is doing 2 classes.  One class is tap, and the other is ballet/gymnastics.  He's such a little dancer.  :)  And, as the only boy in his class, he often refers to the girls in his class as "my girls."  

"Mom, are we going to see my girls today?"  He's too cute :)

Mar-Mar loves to go as well.  But, she keeps me on my toes, chasing after her as she roams the hallways and tries to scale the stairs for the hour that we are waiting for C-Man.

But, one thing is for sure, when it comes to my kids, they love each other.

Picking up C-Man from school one day, his teacher informs me as to how he amazes her.  Some of his classmates have younger siblings as well.  And they'll say goodbye and everything as well, but she says that it seems forced with them.  With C-Man, he seeks out Mar-Mar to give her a hug, kiss, tell her he'll come home soon and just say goodbye.

I find myself very lucky with how close C-Man and Mar-Mar are to each other.  They of course have their spats, but they are nothing like what you would expect from sibling rivalry.  

When I was pregnant with Mar-Mar, I was both excited to be adding to our family, but terrified about C-Man having a little brother or sister.  I thought for sure, having a sibling would be the equivalent of what my brother and I put my father through.

My brother and I were evil to each other.  We did NOT get along whatsoever.  The only time we seemed to get along was when another person was picking on the other.  That's the only time we seemed to stand up for the other.  Otherwise, we were at each other's throats.

Even my grandmother tells of tales as to how she would have to sit in the back seat with one of us while the other road in the front seat with my grandfather.  That is how bad our fights would get.  It's a miracle that either one of us is still alive and both with our own families.

I thought for sure, my kids are destined to be evil to each other, almost killing each other, just the way me and my brother did.

But, for now, my kids are so loving to each other for the most part.  C-Man cries, Mar-Mar goes over to him and hugs him, rubs his arm, and plays with his hair.   Mar-Mar is watching her favorite show (Little Einsteins), C-Man sits quietly with her and watches it with her.  If she cries, he also hugs her and he actually starts to sing to her to make her feel better.

At home, these two are almost inseparable.  Almost!!!  Let's face it, they are still brother and sister, so they still fight like cats and dogs.  But overall, I got lucky in the sibling love department with these two :)

How do your children get along?  Are you ripping your hair out wondering if they will ever get along?  Or is your house a "Kumbaya" of sibling love?

Giveaway Winner

Thank you to those of you who participated in my very first giveaway.

Just as a reminder, the prize was this beautiful butterfly wall art that is affixed with a sawtooth hook to hang from the wall.  This is dear to me as is my own personal creation.

I have issued all those who participated a number, which I subsequently entered into a randomizer for a random drawing.  If you entered more than one entry, your number was entered to equal the number of entries you did.

Without further ado, the lucky winner of my first giveaway is #24.  Please email me your contact information to ship your wall art at kjarrait@gmail.com no later than midnight on 9/15/2012.

Congratulations and remember to keep an eye on my blog.  You never know when the next giveaway will come up :)

Sarah...You Are A Beautiful Woman

As promised, the Beautiful Woman Campaign continues.  Here is Sarah's story, as told by her.  Thank you Sarah for sharing your story.  You are an inspiration to all beautiful women. 

I encourage all beautiful women to send me your stories of how you overcame your insecurities.  You can send your stories to me at kjarrait@gmail.com.  You are more than welcome to add a picture as well, or you can just send your story with no pictures.  If you would like to remain anonymous, let me know what you would like your pseudo name to be.

The Beautiful Woman Campaign is meant for inspiration and enlightenment to all women.  We don't have to fit in societies cookie cutter image of what a beautiful and perfect woman is.  We are beautiful just the way we are.  So, please, no negative comments, only positive.  Thank you.

Sarah's Story:

I can remember beginning to think I was "fat" by the time I was maybe nine or ten.  Not that anyone had ever told me flat out or had I ever been teased about it in school.  I just noticed that I was always the biggest kid in my class and could never fit into my friend's clothes.  I was also the tallest kid y age for the longest tie, having reached my final height by middle school.  Luckily I was blessed with fantastic parents that focused on my talents than my appearance.  They always bragged about my grades, how well I did in sports, and all my extra curricular activities.

Unfortunately, we celebrated any occasion with food.  Every holiday, school function, birthday, etc. was followed by a phenomenal feast.  As unhealthy as I was, my overweight size never prevented me from having a happy upbringing.  In middle and high school I was quite popular.  I always had boyfriends, was invited to parties, had lots of friends, all the things stereotypically granted to the skinny girls.  It was during middle school I really began to accept being a "big" girl.  I learned than a confidence that has served me well through my whole life, because, hey, being fat hasn't stopped me from having a really great time!

By high school I had thinned out a bit, but also by then the boys had finally started to catch up.  I remember high school as a total blast, I never felt I was judged by my size or looks.

It was during that time I met who would be my future husband, five years older than me, at a local coffee shop.  I had an immediate crush, but I thought he was too old and cute to be interested in some chubby kid.  But fate drew us closer, so after graduation I went off to Oregon with him after only four months together.  His love has been my backbone since the day we proclaimed it.  It's a comfort to know that I have this wonderful, handsome man, and if I was perfect for him, than I must be perfect.

Now that I am in control of my own diet and exercise I have really come to peace with my body and self image.  I see the woman I want to see in the mirror.  Now I face the challenge of passing this confidence and acceptance to my daughter when it's her time to deal with her own body issues.  But I have faith she will learn it just by watching.

Anatomy

Show me a parent who looks forward to discussing anatomy with their child and I'll show you a liar.  Haha.  I was one of those parents.  Sure that when the questions came that I would be diplomatic, honest, and encourage the curiosity filled questions of "where do babies come from?", "why doesn't mommy look like me?", etc.

And then that day comes.  You are hit with the barrage of questions, and it will inevitably catch you off guard.  You think that you will be sitting peacefully at home, just you and your children, playing innocently before you have to deal with the questions.  But, nope, they wait to ask you.  

You're walking through the grocery store, surrounded by other patrons because today was pay day and everyone is at the store shopping, and then it comes.  "Mom, why do I have a peepee?"  Everyone turns to stare at you, waiting for your response.  "Because you are a boy honey."

Whew, you think you saved yourself.  Then another.  "Mommy, why is your peepee broken?"  

At this point, you realize there is no salvation, you drop your shopping list, leave your cart, pick up the curious little boy and run out of the store, not even daring to look back.  Off to a new store, maybe we can stop the barrage of questions in the car before we get to the new store where no one knows.  But no, once you're alone in the car with your curious child the questions stop.  This gives you a false sense of hope.  And then you enter the new store, again crowded, only to have the barrage of anatomy questions return.

Now, both C-Man are Mar-Mar are very aware of the correct scientific terminology for their anatomical parts.  I was worried about confusion, as any new age mother seems to be.  Why I was worried, I have no idea why.  This makes the curious questions in public seem that more traumatizing.

I'm using the term "peepee" merely for the simple fact that this is a family blog.  So, I would like to keep it family friendly.

Today's question from my very anatomical curious C-Man..."Mommy, does C-Man, Dawson, and daddy have a peepee because we boys, and mommy, Mar-Mar, and Sadie's peepee broken because you a girl?  But why mom?  Why your peepee broke off?"

Dawson happens to be our 6 year old black lab/pitt bull mix who is in fact a male dog, and Sadie happens to be our very female 13 year old Great Dane.

I encourage C-Man's curiosity, however, today I am glad the anatomy lesson was done in the privacy of our own home.  I am not usually that lucky.  But, no matter how you refer to your child's anatomy, the questions, they will come.  And they will most definitely come at the most inopportune and most embarrassing time.

Tell me your embarrassing anatomy lesson with your children.   

Delia's

The clothing choices that are available to young tween and teen girls today makes me both happy and fearful at the same time.

On one hand, it makes me happy that Mar-Mar is still way too young for me to argue with her about what I will and will not allow her to wear.  While on the other hand, it makes me fear for what the future holds when she does get to be that age.

I can't help but notice that a lot of tweens and teens are dressing themselves to portray a much older persona.  At times, they dress themselves to look older than myself, and the taste of clothing choices...we'll just say that teen clothing options these days leaves little to the imagination.

It is the downfall of tween and teen girl clothing that makes me like Delia*s so much.  The majority of their clothing options tend to fall on the spectrum of keeping a young girl looking exactly like she should...young and like a child, not a grown woman exposing more skin than necessary.

As I progress through the years as a mother to a young girl, I will most definitely be keeping an eye on Delia*s as they are clearly one of few companies that truly understand a parents worst clothing nightmare when it comes to their young girls.

Shutterfly

I take a lot of pictures.  And being that everything in this day is digital, that also means that I download a ton of pictures on to my computer.  This also makes me terrified that I could lose all those precious memories with a virus or other computer crash.

To circumvent this fear of losing all those memories, I not only have my folders upon folders upon folders of pictures on my computer, but I also have them backed up onto flash drives.  Another avenue that I take to protect my pictures, I have a shutterfly account.

I LOVE Shutterfly.  Not only for the mere fact that it holds my precious memories of C-Man and Mar-Mar, but I can also order hard copies of those prints, make books, collages, and share my pictures.  What's more, from time to time they send you special promo codes.

I once got a free photo book of C-Man for his 1st year with a promo code. I paid for the shipping only, and got a beautiful book that I was able to construct with my favorite pictures of his first year.

I love this tool as an extra backup for my pictures.  While it's not as convenient as going to Wal-Mart or Walgreen's to pick up your prints, I still prefer Shutterfly.  If I don't have the time to run out of the house to make errand runs to either Wal-Mart or Walgreen's, I can count on Shutterfly to ship me those oh so precious memories.

Shutterfly gets an A+ from this Momster.

Momster's Best Friend

For many years I loathed coffee.  I didn't drink it and had no desire to.  And since I nursed both of my children, I reasoned that it was a good thing that I didn't drink that extra caffeine in coffee.

But, what can I say, I am just like any other mom, and I get down right exhausted.  Pac-Man doesn't drink any coffee.  He doesn't love the caffeine the way I do.  So, when I entered the world of coffee drinkers for the first time, we invested in Keurig.

I am in love!!  I'm going to go ahead and say it right now, if you drink more than 1 or 2 cups of coffee a day...DO NOT buy a Keurig.  However, if all you're drinking is 1-2 cups a day, then a Keurig might not be a bad investment.

The cost of the k-cups can be very intimidating for the Keurig.  There is a simple solution.  A Keurig Coffee Re-usable Filter.  

I don't know about where you are, but k-cups in my area cost $8.99 for a box of 12.  I can get almost 2 weeks worth of coffee if I only limit myself to 1 cup of coffee a day.  But, let's face it, I'm a mom, and I have two wild children.  Add in the fact that I drive 30 minutes every day to take C-Man to school, putting me up at 5am, sometimes a girl just needs more than 1 cup of coffee.

And, I'm in Vermont.  So, Green Mountain Coffee (my favorite brand of coffee) is readily available.  And, at $8.99 I can get a 12 oz bag of Green Mountain Coffee for the same cost as a 12-ct box of k-cups for my Keurig.  I end up saving money by using the add on filter.  The money I save on a bag of ground coffee as opposed to buying k-cups each week outweighs the extra cost of the filter.

Now, if you're a full pot of coffee kind of girl (or guy, cause you know, dad's can be reading this too), then I would go with a pot coffee maker, like Mr. Coffee has to offer.  I haven't used this particular coffee pot...but I've never known Mr. Coffee to disappoint.

What say you?  How do you muddle through the day?  Are you a coffee drinker?  What is your experience with the Keurig?  Or are you a Mr. Coffee kind of drinker instead?

The Art of Discipline

As a mother, it's always refreshing to know that if your kids act up in public or with an audience around, everyone knows how best you should discipline your child.  It's one of those unwanted advice tips you get, no matter how hard you try to reassure them that you are more than capable of disciplining your own children.

And, of course, each child is different in the tactics that work as well.  This is the same for C-Man and Mar-Mar.  My techniques for disciplining C-Man most certainly do not work for Mar-Mar and vice verse.  And, despite these other well versed parents heart felt attempts at telling you what worked for them, one thing they neglect to remember is the effectiveness it had on each child.

I won't even get into the spanking debate.  That one, these days, is just not a tactic that works in our family, and not a subject that I am willing to delve into.  

But, a classic is time-out.  This seems to work for many.  The trick is consistency.  The trick to any tactic is consistency.  The rule of thumb is to continuously place a child who is learning their boundaries in time out until their time essentially runs out for the infraction.  Suggestions start off at 1 minute per age.  

I won't lie, this is an effective method for many children.  C-Man and Mar-Mar, not so much.  This becomes a game.  We've tried the time out routine with both of them consistently for several months to no avail.  Both of them treat it like a game of musical chairs.

So, I move on to other tactics.  Loosing privileges.  This mostly works with older children, as toddlers and preschoolers don't quite grasp this tactic.  So, back to the drawing board. 

Distraction.  Haha, not with my kids.  Once C-Man and Mar-Mar notice you trying to covertly "distract" them from the infraction with another suitable activity, all of a sudden this infraction becomes the most prized activity of the day.  They MUST do it at all times.  My kids are not easily distracted.  But, like time out, this can be a very effective method.

With C-Man, we even tried reward sheets.  Giving him a sticker every time he performed a task such as listening, picking up his toys, etc.  This, for a 3 year old at the time, was ideal for the first week.  Now, not so much.  The idea of the reward sheet is to invoke a good behavior in your children in exchange for a reward at a later date.  Like loosing privileges, this is best saved for older children.  Once the novelty of getting a prize at a later date wears off, the concept is also lost on the preschooler.

To date, Mar-Mar is still working on her tactics as she is continuing to mold herself.

But, we have success with C-Man.  Toys!!  C-Man loves his toys.  Especially his Star Wars toys.  Infractions have led me and Pac-Man to resort to packing away favorite toys until a day or two later for infractions.  

This tactic works for C-Man.  He misbehaves, he loses a favorite toy for the day.  It's taken and put up out of sight, out of reach.  He can acquire the toy once again by stopping the behavior for the remainder of the day.  If he does so, he procures the lost toy in the morning of the next day.  If he doesn't, he continues to lose favorite toys.

It has proven a very effective method for us.  

But, as with anything that revolves around parenting a child, soon the day will come when I have to revise my discipline tactics.  Gone will be the day that losing his prized possessions will induce a wanted behavior.

Maybe that's what well-meaning advice givers forget about parenting.  It's an ever changing scenario.  With the passing of time, what worked yesterday no longer works today.  We forget that being a parent means that we need to change as often as our children do.   

Momster...You Are a Beautiful Woman

So, to start off this beautiful woman campaign, what better way to launch it than to tell my own struggles, trials, and tribulations.

I am a very small framed woman.  It has been pointed out to me on many occasions, including by complete strangers, just how small I am.  At 5'6" I clock in at a mere 105 on my heaviest days.

The picture may be hard to tell my true frame with the two munchkins in my lap, but you can still get the idea of my slight frame.

I have spent my whole life listening to people call me anorexic, or bulimic once they realize that I like food.  Well, maybe like is too slight of a word itself.  I love food.  I love to eat.  I love everything about food.  Despite my body frame stating contrary, food is my vice.

Throughout the years I have done much to increase my weight.  Even when serving in the Air Force they thought I was underweight.  I was sent to several nutritionist and on several diet programs to try to increase my weight.

When Pac-Man and I decided that we were going to try for kids, we decided that it would take us about 6 months for me to get on a healthy weigh gaining diet to be able to carry a healthy child.  This started my high calorie and high vitamin diet.  Needless to say, I did not gain the weight, but I did gain a child (C-Man).

I continued this diet, and was thrilled at my pregnancy.  After all, I was sure that there was no way that I was going to lose every last 40 lbs that I gained during my pregnancy with C-Man.  I was wrong.  Despite my continued efforts to eat high calorie foods, the day after C-Man was born and we were leaving the hospital, the only indication that I had just birthed a child was the beautiful infant laying in my arms.

The same result came about during my pregnancy with Mar-Mar.  I was left devastated.  So, I turned to not only high calorie foods, but also exercise routines aimed at toning and adding muscle.  This too worked to no avail.

I have since decided that I don't need to fit in that perfect cookie cutter mold.  I don't need to be the 5'6" woman who is a perfect 125.  I am perfect at my own frame.  And I plan on teaching my children the same no matter their frames.

I still have a smile that can light a room.  And a smile on anyone is worth more than the perfect body image.

Personalizing Books

I'm not going to lie, here are some things that I have never utilized because I felt they were frivolous things that we didn't need to indulge in. One of those items was the world of children's personalized books.

The idea of them, I liked them, but I couldn't bring myself to indulge.  But, then I was asked to review one.

My Kool Kidz Books happened to be the place that I embarked.  I was a bit nervous on my endeavor, but off I went to try to find the perfect book for my family.  After reviewing the selections they offered...holiday books, books for girls, books for boys, and more...I decided on a cute little book about becoming a sibling.

While C-Man has been a big brother for almost 2 years now, I thought that it would help him through some of the tougher times of being Mar-Mar's big brother.  After all, she is a bully, lol.  Truth be told, Mar-Mar beats up on C-Man and he lets her get away with EVERYTHING!!!!!

So, I decide that I'm going to get The Sibling Book.

This is the book that I receive in the mail from My Kool Kidz Books.  Right off the bat, I'm impressed.  First of all, I put this order in on a Saturday afternoon, and it's at my house in less than 1 week.  Not only that, the personalized names that I used are spelled correctly.

Now comes the real test.  It's bedtime and we are winding down with a book.  So, I pull out the book I got from My Kool Kidz Books to see how the kids review it.

C-Man, loves the book.  We have success.  The book was more than I normally would spend on a book.  But, the part that made it worth the personal touch was the look on C-Man's face.  Knowing that book was about him and his sister, his whole face lit up.

He now carries he book around and when we aren't sitting down to read it together, he sits by himself and comes up with his own words for the book.  

My Kool Kidz Books gets an A in this house.  If you're looking for a cute and unique gift for a child, don't saddle the parent down with another annoying toy they will dread and the child will only play with for a few days.  Visit My Kool Kidz Books and get a personalized book that they can treasure for years to come.

Totsy

Who has heard of Totsy?  Well, it's one of those sites that I love.  It is a lot like Zulily in that they are boutique type shops that offer a set number of outfits, products, etc.

This is the breakdown of how it works.  The company Totsy, essentially, agrees with these companies to order a certain number of a product in exchange for a deep discount.  This is where you see the percentages off, sometimes 15% and going up to the 80% they advertise.

The deal is, they only offer these products for a certain amount of time, usually for 3 days.  So, when you see something you like, you can't just dwell on it and wait.  You usually have to snatch it right up.

The difference that I've seen between Zulily and Totsy is that Zulily immediately charges your card.  That can be great, especially if you have a habit of overspending on cute little outfits for your munchkin.  Totsy, on the other hand, stores your order until they place the order.  Once they receive the products from the manufacturers, they bill you and ship out your items as agreed upon.

Another thing I like about these sites, other than the deals that you can get, Totsy gives you a $15 credit to your account for each person who signs up under your account and makes their first purchase.  So, essentially, not only are you a customer, but you are in a way, an affiliate of sorts.  The only difference between a normal affiliate and this is that you get the $15 once, whereas a normal affiliate, every order that is placed through a link dedicated to them gets a percentage.

My one bad thing I don't like about either Zulily or Totsy...shipping/delivery time.  Doesn't matter which one you decide to go with, they both have the slowest shipping time from order until it gets to your door.  I chalk this up to the fact that when they do the sales, they don't actually have the product on hand.  They have to wait for these items to be shipped to them before they can process your order and ship your items to you as well.

My final review on Totsy, as long as you aren't trying to purchase a last minute dress, present, or outfit, this is perfect for cute little outfits and gifts.  They also have some cute items for mom and kitchen as well.

The Power of "I'm Sorry"

I would like to say that my children are perfect little creatures.  They could do no wrong.  But, the fact of the matter is, they are both human.  And to top that off, they are toddler/preschoolers.  So, tantrums and testing their limits are going to be testing me to my own limits day in and day out.

Now, I'm a very lenient mom.  I let both my kids get away with a lot as they explore their world, and I explain why things aren't allowed after they try them.  Do they understand me half the time?  Probably not yet, but they will.  And I can only hope that they remember the outcome of the action and eventually our conversations.

As lenient as I am, one thing I do not allow for are impolite or mean behavior.  I require that a please proceeds every request that comes out of C-Man and Mar-Mar's mouth, and that a thank you is promptly followed after the request is carried out.  And being mean to each other, mom, dad, or friends is also not permitted.

The other stuff, within reason, is a learning experience, and I allow for those mistakes and limits to be tested within reason.  But bad manners is not tolerated.

So, when I went to pick up C-Man from school today, I was excited to see in his folder that he had an invitation from a school friend.  

"C-Man, is "G" your friend?"

This is when I realize something is up.  As instead of telling me yes, his eyes go wide, and he instantly tells me:  "I said that I was sorry."

At 4-years-old C-Man hasn't quite learned the art of lying.  I'm hoping that it's a trait that he never picks up, but, that's another post.  So, at this age, being honest, sometimes overly honest, is a trait many preschoolers have.

"What did you say sorry for?  Did you hurt "G"?"

"We were playing tag and I threw a wood chip at him cause he was trying to get me.  But I say sorry."  This is his explanation.  Seems innocent enough.  Two boys, getting overly excited in a game of tag, something unfriendly is bound to happen.

This is when I decide to inform C-Man of his invitation.  "Well, C-Man, "G" invited you to his birthday.  If we hurt and throw things at our friends do you think they will want to invite us to their birthdays?"

C-Man promptly answers with a shake of the head and re-informs me that he did apologize to his school friend after the incident.

I am proud of C-Man in this instance.  He knew that his actions were wrong, and that they warranted an apology, and he apologized to his friend.

But, as a mom who wants to instill the importance of not hurting our friends, throwing things, and just overall displaying good manners and treating our friends the way we want them to treat us, this is where I may be a bit harder on my children than most.

I tell C-Man that I am proud of him for apologizing to "G" for the incident, but that throwing things at our friends are never ok.  I proceed to inform him that this weekend we will be writing a note to "G" apologizing once again for the incident.

Maybe I'm hard on my children in this situation.  But, as lenient as I try to be, there are things that I do not tolerate.  C-Man knows this, and is actually eager to have Momster write out an apology letter to his friend "G" for him as he dictates what he wants to say, afterwards he is excited to draw a picture of him and "G" playing together as well with the letter.

Maybe it's a small feat, but any feat that I cam accomplish in teaching my kids good values I will take.

What values do you try to instill in your children?  What are you lenient with?  What are things that you absolutely do not tolerate?

Daddy vs Wipes

How many mom's out there pass of diaper duty to dad sometimes?

I am home all day with Mar-Mar, our only child in diapers.  So, I am very familiar with diaper changes, and using the least amount of wipes to get a clean bottom.  You can always tell whether it's going to be a 2, 3, or 4 wiper when you open the diaper.  But, you always try to use the least amount of wipes.  Those suckers are almost as expensive as the package of diapers.

But, when Pac-Man comes home for the day, I pass off diaper duty to him.  I pray that any diaper changes he comes across are merely wet diapers.  Our pocketbook can't handle the kind of wipe war Pac-Man has with a poopy diaper.

The scene pretty much plays out with Pac-Man realizing that he has a poopy diaper on his hands.  This has him start the plea for me to take the diaper change duties on and he'll get the next one (and you know, secretly he's saying, as long as it's just wet).  I of course refuse, I'm not new to this diaper changing war, and have changed a fair amount of diapers myself throughout the day.

Resigning himself to the fact that he is indeed saddled with the poopy diaper, Pac-Man prepares for the damage.  Clean diaper?  Check!  Mar-Mar?  Check!  Wipes?  Check!  Diaper Cream?  Check!

Now, off to change that diaper.  As he takes the tab off the diaper he makes these gurgling, almost gagging sounds at the sight.  You know it's not really that bad, but you laugh anyways, cause he tries to make it out to be the worst poopy diaper of his life.  This is just another ploy to try to convince you to take over diaper duty lest he throw up all over your child during the diaper change.

Pac-Man and I have been parents for the past 4 years, so I'm well versed in this tactic, and know how to stop it in it's tracks or just ignore it.

Realizing his fake gagging sounds are not working, Pac-Man once again attends to the task at hand.  Out come the wipes.  As I'm looking over his shoulder I notice this is merely a 1 wiper, but I watch in awe as Pac-Man pulls out, 1...2...3...4...5...6....did he just pull out 15 wipes for that one little diaper?

Not to be outdone with my awe of the 15 wipes for the first wipe, Pac-Man proceeds to go in for a second round...here we go with another 15 to 20 wipes for the second wipe.

"What on earth?  How many wipes do you need?  There's barely anything there to wipe?"  Of course his reply is that he wants to make sure her bottom is clean.  This still bewilders me as there is not even a speck of dog hair on her bottom from the enormous amounts of dog hair that our 2 dogs shed.

I proceed to move on to my own thing.  Pac-Man puts the diaper cream and dry diaper on Mar-Mar, and a set of bloomers so that she can't take her diaper off leaving us in a poopy mess later on.  45 wipes later, the diaper change is done.

Who else has a wipe warrior?  

Diaper Rescue

There comes a time in a mother's life when she realizes that her poor baby is suffering from a diaper rash.  It's painful to look at, and you're positive it's the reason your easy going child has started booking it at the sight of you with a new diaper and wipes.

You cringe and cry every time you change their diaper cause it's so red and raw, and you're just beside yourself.

We recently went through this with Mar-Mar.  I was beside myself, I had never dealt with a diaper rash with C-Man when he was in diapers, so this was new territory with me.  Throw in the fact that both my kids have eczema, and I am always looking for something that will be a wonder cream, while still being sensitive on their skin.

This is when you turn to other mom's who have been in this position.  You talk to them and you discuss what your best options are.  

Enter in a super mom, and she tells me about Pinxav (pronounced pink salve).  I'm not going to lie, this stuff stinks.  But, I'm trying it cause Mar-Mar's butt is red and raw, and nothing is working on her.  Everything is making it worse, and I want to cry along with her each time I have to change her diaper.

One of the first ingredients in this Pinxav, aloe vera.  This left the pediatrician impressed.  She informs me, as well as some of the over the counter diaper creams work, most of them either do not have aloe vera in them, or it's an ingredient that is listed towards the middle or end of the list (generally this means there is less of it).

So, I get this Pinxav in the mail and I start to use it.  It's thick, it stinks, and it doesn't come off my hands when I wash them with soap and water afterwards.  It takes some wipes to get off.  This I can overlook as the next diaper change the red and raw sores on Mar-Mar are merely pink blotches.

Another great thing about this Pinxav, like I said, it wouldn't come off my hands when I washed them with regular soap and water.  This also means that when Mar-Mar has just a wet diaper, that it keeps the wet off her.  I also only need to reapply after a poopy diaper, but I'm reapplying it about every 2-3 wet diapers.

I know, the Pinxav seems a bit overpriced.  Heck, what isn't these days.  But, I'm telling you, this stuff works miracles.  Not only that, it lasts forever.  I got this stuff 3 months ago, and I have only used 1/4 of the tub.  

As soon as I spot some red on Mar-Mar's bottom during diaper changes, I pull out the Pinxav, and she is completely clear within a few diaper changes.  

I suggest using it for about an extra week or two after the rash is clear, but that should be with any type of diaper rash ointment.

Nap Time Fight

Had I known then what I know now about naps, I would've taken more of them.  Well, at least I would like to think that I wouldn't have fought my dad so hard when it was time to take a nap.

C-Man has been nap free for quite some time.  We do still have the occasional nap from time to time, but they are few and far between.  Oh how I miss the days of nap time when it was just me and the C-Man at home.  Then it was easy.  He goes down for a nap, I fall asleep for a little nap as well.

But then you have more than one kid.  Once Mar-Mar was born, nap time for the C-Man was all but extinct.  This didn't leave me much room to nap with Mar-Mar.  Mar-Mar would go down for her nap, and it would be me and C-Man, taking on the world.

I thought with school starting, nap time would once again become this grand party.  Mar-Mar goes to sleep for a nap, and I follow her shortly.  Alas, we are now in the nap time fight.

Try as I may, Mar-Mar is adamant that she is done with nap time.  She runs around her playroom and the house as if nothing will deplete her energy.  Where do these kids get their energy from?!?!?

As we fast forward through each day, me struggling to get Mar-Mar to take just a small nap...come on Mar-Mar, Momster could even go for 30 minutes, even 1 hour...to no avail, we finally reach the time where we must leave to pick C-Man up from school.

C-Man's school is a 30 minute drive from our house.  And so when we get ready to leave, I pack Mar-Mar up in the car, give her a snack in her little bowl and a drink, start a movie in the DVD player, and off we head to pick up C-Man.  Not even 5 minutes into the drive, I look in the mirror and Mar-Mar is passed out.  Of course, it's not that she doesn't want to take a nap, it's that she doesn't want me to have the opportunity to take a nap.

What nap time struggles do you face?  Are naps being phased out by the little ones?  Or have you noticed that the struggle is, like my own nap time struggle, to ensure you do not get a nap in for yourself?

First Hair Cuts

There comes a time in a mother's life when she realizes that her child needs a haircut.  No!!!!!  I hate the inevitable first haircut.  It's further proof that the baby you wish you could keep little forever is getting bigger.

Want more proof that your children become little adults with this milestone, take a picture before and after.

So, this weekend, I came to the conclusion that I needed to get Mar-Mar her first haircut.  It was a hard pill for me to swallow.  Pac-Man had been bugging me to take her to get her hair cut for months, but I just couldn't.  So, I resigned myself to putting her hair up in cute little pigtails.  The issue than was that Mar-Mar was constantly pulling out these pigtails, rendering my feeble attempts at arguing that she didn't need her haircut useless.

As cute as she is, it was clear that she needed her hair cut.  Poor girl couldn't even see.

I figured that C-Man needed his hair cut as well, so I would just take Mar-Mar for hers at the same time.  I get to school to pick up C-Man and off to the barber we head.

C-Man has decided that he wants to have his hair cut short.  Pull on my heart now, I am brokenhearted afterwards.  Forget the fact that this is not C-Man's first hair cut, but each time I take him he goes from this innocent cute little boy...

And he instantly becomes this little man and it ages him a few years.  

So, I'm here, at the barber shop, almost in tears after C-Man's transformation, and it's now Mar-Mar's turn to hop into the chair.

It is this instant that I become a blubbering mess.  Mar-Mar has these curls in the back of her hair.  I instantly start having a mom panic attack and I'm a stuttering mess.  I beg the barber, please, please, please don't cut the back of her hair.  I don't think I could bear to lose her curls yet.  I know the instant those curls get cut, they will be lost forever.

After a few minutes of listening to me drivel along about how traumatic this haircut would be, not for me, but for Mar-Mar, we finally agree that just the bangs will be cut.

Contrary to my plea that this will be traumatic, Mar-Mar starts laughing and clapping as her bangs are being cut out of her face.  She has to constantly look up at me with this melt your heart smile to let me know this hair cutting business is fun.  Please, where did my baby girl go?!?!?!?

The transformation was dramatic as C-Man's.  Unfortunately, I decided to wait until after Mar-Mar got up after a nap for her after haircut photo op. She wasn't feeling particularly camera friendly.

The result was, curls are still intact in the back, and Mar-Mar can now see...

What was your traumatic firsts with your child(ren)?

What Child Do You Speak Of?

Today was C-Man's 2nd day of school, and also the 2nd day that I was positive that his teacher was trying to send me home with the wrong child.

"C-Man is so good, he is one of my best listeners in class."
"Excuse me?  Are you sure you are returning the right child to me?  I'm pretty sure there is no way we can be talking about the same C-Man, maybe you have more than one in your class and you are mistaken mine for this other mild manner and good C-Man who listens."

So, I bring home this alien C-Man.  "Hmmm, he listens.  Not only does he listen, but he's a good listener."  These are the thoughts that go through my mind on my drive home.  This is news to me, and I am completely baffled.  I make it a point to figure out who this new "listening" C-Man belongs to so that his mom doesn't miss him.  But, maybe not, it would be nice to have a child who listens to me.

Then we get home.  All of a sudden C-Man is running around the house, pulling out all his toys, screaming at me to get him this, get him that, I don't want to say please, just do it, bouncing off the walls.

Where is this quiet and listening C-Man that his teacher spoke of?  I want that C-Man.  How do I get this listening C-Man?  Is she just giving me the right C-Man and giving me the wrong message on how the day went?

After careful consideration I decide to talk to the experts.  Off to discuss this particular dilemma with my other mom friends.  

Yep, it's just as I suspected.  School apparently has this weird mind altering program that they do to your children while you are at home so that they listen.  Unfortunately, when you come to pick them up, they turn it off, and you are given the monster you dropped off.

This doesn't seem fair.  How is it that they get to have the good C-Man who listens?  

Who else drops off their non-listening child only to come pick them up to learn that the powers that be ensure they are only good at school?  Tell me your story.

Mmmmm, Clean Baby

Now I know I'm not the only one, but my kids are still young enough that I like them to keep their baby smell.  Mmmmm, there's nothing better than to cuddle with your kids after a bath and soak in their scent.

C-Man and Mar-Mar both have eczema.  The problem is, neither one of them will sit still long enough for me to rub lotion on them.  Too busy with the evil hostile takeover my house I suspect.

To keep the baby smell, while keeping the kids skin smooth and eczema breakout free, I found a wonderful product.  Canus Lil' Goat's Milk Shampoo & Body Wash.  I literally LOVE this stuff!!!

The reviews say that the smell is strong, and it is at first.  But, it lasts forever.  So, if your kids have eczema, like mine do, and you avoid daily baths so that you don't dry out their skin, this stuff is amazing.




Some reviews say that the Lil Goat's Milk smells like lemons, but I think it has a hint of a light lavender to it.  And after my kids have a bath with it, I just want to curl up with them all night long and drink in their scent.

Another reason I love Lil Goat's Milk Shampoo & Body Wash, it lasts forever.  Ok, so maybe not forever, but it lasts quite awhile in my house.  Pac-Man thinks we save money by not buying the overpriced bubble bath, so instead, we buy this Lil Goat's Milk.  Sure, it seems like a lot, but Pac-Man uses it as a bubble bath too.

Don't get me wrong, I like Johnson & Johnson.  I grew up with the stuff.  But, the additives in it create an eczema breakout with C-Man and Mar-Mar.  Couple that with the fact that when Pac-Man adds the additional job of bubble bath to the body wash and shampoo of the Johnson & Johnson, I'm lucky to get a months use out of it.  So, I stay away from it.

I buy a bottle of Lil Goat's Milk Shampoo & Body Wash and it has lasted me 3 months.  It's thick, so when you're using it, a little goes a long way.  And, if Pac-Man didn't double it as a bubble bath for the kids, I imagine we could get at least another 2 months out of it.  

The scent and the longevity of Lil Goat's Milk make it worth the price.  This momster gives it 2 thumbs up.

The fact that it is the only tearless shampoo that we've used that the kids actually tout as being tear free means Lil Goat's Milk also gets an A+ from C-Man and Mar-Mar.  And, in the grand scheme of things, if they like it, Momster likes it (within reason).