I would like to say that my children are perfect little creatures. They could do no wrong. But, the fact of the matter is, they are both human. And to top that off, they are toddler/preschoolers. So, tantrums and testing their limits are going to be testing me to my own limits day in and day out.
Now, I'm a very lenient mom. I let both my kids get away with a lot as they explore their world, and I explain why things aren't allowed after they try them. Do they understand me half the time? Probably not yet, but they will. And I can only hope that they remember the outcome of the action and eventually our conversations.
As lenient as I am, one thing I do not allow for are impolite or mean behavior. I require that a please proceeds every request that comes out of C-Man and Mar-Mar's mouth, and that a thank you is promptly followed after the request is carried out. And being mean to each other, mom, dad, or friends is also not permitted.
The other stuff, within reason, is a learning experience, and I allow for those mistakes and limits to be tested within reason. But bad manners is not tolerated.
So, when I went to pick up C-Man from school today, I was excited to see in his folder that he had an invitation from a school friend.
"C-Man, is "G" your friend?"
This is when I realize something is up. As instead of telling me yes, his eyes go wide, and he instantly tells me: "I said that I was sorry."
At 4-years-old C-Man hasn't quite learned the art of lying. I'm hoping that it's a trait that he never picks up, but, that's another post. So, at this age, being honest, sometimes overly honest, is a trait many preschoolers have.
"What did you say sorry for? Did you hurt "G"?"
"We were playing tag and I threw a wood chip at him cause he was trying to get me. But I say sorry." This is his explanation. Seems innocent enough. Two boys, getting overly excited in a game of tag, something unfriendly is bound to happen.
This is when I decide to inform C-Man of his invitation. "Well, C-Man, "G" invited you to his birthday. If we hurt and throw things at our friends do you think they will want to invite us to their birthdays?"
C-Man promptly answers with a shake of the head and re-informs me that he did apologize to his school friend after the incident.
I am proud of C-Man in this instance. He knew that his actions were wrong, and that they warranted an apology, and he apologized to his friend.
But, as a mom who wants to instill the importance of not hurting our friends, throwing things, and just overall displaying good manners and treating our friends the way we want them to treat us, this is where I may be a bit harder on my children than most.
I tell C-Man that I am proud of him for apologizing to "G" for the incident, but that throwing things at our friends are never ok. I proceed to inform him that this weekend we will be writing a note to "G" apologizing once again for the incident.
Maybe I'm hard on my children in this situation. But, as lenient as I try to be, there are things that I do not tolerate. C-Man knows this, and is actually eager to have Momster write out an apology letter to his friend "G" for him as he dictates what he wants to say, afterwards he is excited to draw a picture of him and "G" playing together as well with the letter.
Maybe it's a small feat, but any feat that I cam accomplish in teaching my kids good values I will take.
What values do you try to instill in your children? What are you lenient with? What are things that you absolutely do not tolerate?
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